This Grandpa it one of the greatest men I have ever had the privilege to know. He took such good care of my mom, brother, and I our whole lives. He loves so strong. He has alzheimers. It is terrifying. I cannot imagine many worse diseases in the world. It completely changes who you are. This man is not himself anymore and it breaks my heart. He has been sick for a while, even before Levi was born. Though I think I will always hold onto some guilt as he took a big turn for the worse when we moved Levi away to Fort Wayne. Levi used to light up his whole world. (And still does. :)) He stopped by almost everyday to spend time with him, and would make us walk to the mall with him many days a week. I miss it and wish I were closer. I wish he could see the kids everyday and that I could help my mom care for him.
I also miss riding only ten miles an hour through the neighborhood in the back of his grey pick up truck. I miss him preaching sermons to me, no matter how annoying it was. I miss trips to get ice cream and go to the library. I miss making chips with melted cheese in the microwave. I miss the bike rides. I miss him always needing to check the oil in my car right when I have to leave. I miss his silly fake laugh. I miss the light in his eyes. I miss the man I used to know. I know he is still there, but he is getting harder and harder to find. It is hard missing someone when they are right there. I love him, and wish he could get better, but know he won't in this life. Not until Jesus calls him home. I wish my kids could know the real him, and how much he loves them...beyond words.